


Zemnian Wizard Swears

by Nocturnal_Daydreams



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Swearing, Tension, absolutely no one else, german swears, google translate zemnian, it never leaves the room and it's just kinda quick and sweet, this is just a little caleb's room story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27886192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Daydreams/pseuds/Nocturnal_Daydreams
Summary: Jester turns up at Caleb's room one night and insists to learn Zemnian - Zemnian swearing to be precise. What is the fiendishly lovely tiefling up to?
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Zemnian Wizard Swears

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday present rq for Blue cos what a week.
> 
> You wanted soft, you got soft...I hope. :D
> 
> Also if you're wondering yes, I did name it after a Potter Puppet Pals video. What of it?

A knock rasped on Caleb’s door. He stopped studying his spells and got up, trying his best to keep his heart from racing a mile a minute when the short blue angel stood in front of him swinging back and forth on her feet, looking genuinely only nervous for once.

He would keep his curiousity on the backburner but he couldn’t not with Jester.

“Hey there, Blue. Everything good?”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

He blinked a lot for a single second and then moved out the way, “Of course, Jester. Want a hot chocolate?”

“Ja, please, Cay-leb.” She grinned almost instantly falling into her cheeky little self.

He tugged the sash then sat down, on the other side of the sofa. Jester immediately swept up and across right next to him and laughed at his blush. He nudged her with his elbow and rolled his eyes. He tried to talk to her but she shook her head again and again, insistent she would not talk until the hot chocolate arrived.

“You’re in an odd mood today.”

“I am!” She took the hot chocolate in hand and covered her hands over it.

“Any reason you had to have hot chocolate first?”

“Yes. I had to keep you still.”

Ah, damn. She knew him far, far too well. He groaned but didn’t take it too hard. How could he? She was smiling triumphantly at him. It suited her more than any look in the world.

“Fine, fine. Why have you trapped me?”

“I want to know Zemnian.”

His brows furrowed, “And why would I run? I could cast tongues on you…the spell, any time you wanted.”

He’d laughed before when she specified the spell but the blush it brought to his cheeks now he understood exactly why. She wasn’t laughing though, she was blushing too. No, his imagination was playing up on him.

“I don’t want you to cast tongues, the spell, I want to learn Zemnian.”

“Forgive me, Jester but what for?”

“Promise, you won’t be mad.” She was really nervous now and hadn’t spotted a hot chocolate mustache on her lips. He waited to point it out later.

“I promise.”

“To insult Icky-thong.”

All the terrible scenarios that could come from it ran circles in his head, “…Jester, no.”

“You promised you wouldn’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m impressed and flattered but mostly I’m scared for you if that was to go wrong.” He reasoned, his hand on hers in concern.

“I have a plan though.”

“Okay, fill me in?”

“I’m gonna play it real dumb. No idea what I’m saying, say it like it’s thank you.”

“That…,” He thought a moment, “…That just might work.”

“And who can play dumb better than me?”

“No one, Jester. Smarter than all of us here and hide it under a façade, are you secretly a god?” He teased.

“Are you secretly in love with me?” She bit back light-heartedly and he almost said yes. He stopped and bit a smile.

“A wizard never reveals his secrets. Fine, fine. Tongues, the lesson, not the spell, it is.” He laughed and watched her stop and bite back a smile. They finished their hot chocolates in relative silence. It didn’t feel like silence though. It felt electric.

She was watching him. Her eyes sparkled with something. A plan he assumed, he would find out soon and he liked the thrill of not knowing yet. For almost a minute after he finished his cup, he kept pretending, waiting for her to notice. Her tail swooped round and patted him atop the head once, “Oi, I know you’re just making me wait.”

He laughed to himself and then set to finding books and a notepad for her, as well as a quill. They ran through words she already knew and he couldn’t stop the smile when he realised how much she had picked up from him. Only words and phrases but she had been taking it in, had cared enough to learn and remember, it was enough to fool himself there might be something there that wasn’t there before. He told her of the moustache and watched with brilliant joy as she freaked out and got it off. He reminded himself to keep on track. With those violet eyes watching him, making an inappropriate amount of eye contact, it was hard to focus anything. As she copied and watched his mouth intently into mimicking each new swear, some of which were close enough to all being the same word. It was the silliest and most intense lesson he had ever taught.

“Bumsen.” He tried to say it slowly to give her time to form it.

“Bumsen.” She copied after a few moments, close but not quite right. They tried again. She got it that time.

“Okay next one,” He thought a second, “Der drecksack.”

“Say that one again.” She uttered, watching his mouth form the word, blinking and blushing and asked again. She fiddled and straightened herself out and really concentrated. It really confused him. Until she said it. And realised he was der drecksack.

They hadn’t said any of these words with malice, as was part of the plan, to keep her from being carted off by the Cerberus Assembly and without an ounce of aggression in the word it really flowed from the tongue far too well. She had trapped him, into the oddest game of back and forth and he wanted so much to kiss her. She said it once more, certain in her enunciation.

“Ye…Go…M…Perfect.” He stuttered to find the right word.

She beamed, “Awesome. What’s next? You’re really good at this Tongues, Caleb.”

That was it, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He exclaimed, “No, no. I know you’re smart Jester, that wasn’t fair.”

“What?” She commited to the innocent play but she’d clued him in too much now.

“Stop it. You know I love you, that’s not nice to tease me like that.”

She was silent for a while but when he looked at her she was biting a proud smile, “So you do?”

“Yes, Jester. I love you.” He sighed, defeated. He didn’t know why she had done this to him today but it was exhausting and he’d have to deal with the worries when she told him in two seconds she didn’t but was glad to hear him voicing himself.

“May I kiss you, Caleb?” She asked.

Caleb was in shock more than anything else, “You’re…not messing with me, right?”

“Deadly serious.”

“Ja. Ja.” She grinned and cupped his face and he still wasn’t sure this wasn’t a dream until her lips pressed softly to his. Feather-light and a little anxious, his heart flew to his throat. It felt real then, for sure and as soon as it did he wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. They had been far too focused on each others tongue for however long they had sat here talking to stop at a chaste peck. They both got the feel of their back and forth and laid against the couch, kissing fervidly.

Then they knocked over their mugs. Thankfully they had long since finished them but one laid in pieces on the floor and Caleb instantly got up and began collecting the pieces insisting he had the nimble fingers so Jester shouldn’t and the cats could not. He was ready to go straight back to the kissing when he stubbed his pinky toe on the edge of the table.

“Der abschaum der gesellschaft, ficktisch!” He yelled, clutching his foot, hopping down onto the sofa. Jester was concerned and beside him, but also beside herself – laughing. 

“Teach me that one!” She giggled and as he rubbed his little toe and felt a little sorry for himself, he too dissolved into laughter.


End file.
